It sounds to me that your wife wants you to top her, and is also very turned on by the idea of being punished by you. I asked if she was serious about using this as discipline, in which SHE made requests that she would be physically punished for certain things I come home and find that she than not even thinking about it "broke her rules". It took me a really long time and quite a few failures to figure it out. OK, sorry to rattle on. She than told me that she thought about going to the couch instead of bed because she was scared and asked if I was going to follow through.
And then there are the rare I think men who can combine it all and be just what their wives need. I than find that she masterbated several times that day, which i have no problem with. I highly recommend you use a safe word--at least while you are exploring and establishing limits, etc.
You are not alone in your mixed feelings towards your wife's desires, and your sexual reaction to them. We hugged and kissed and finished have mutual satisfying sex.
I very strongly recommend that there always be a safe-word. Use 'safe words', specific words that you both agree on so there's no confusion while in a 'session'. This would allow you to deliver a ificant amount of pain to her in a way that will not result on bodily harm, only pain. ed Apr 12, OP, I suggest you embark on some major reading and research. ed Dec 3, Wait until she gets angry with you or you over do the 'punishment', you leave marks on her, and she calls the police to charge you with domestic violence. If anything it promotes blood flow and stimulates the body for a healthy response from the body's immune system.
This was all good until she started researching it. You have to become an expert at reading your wife, and she has to have total trust in you--and that is a tall order for many people, because the sort of two-way intimacy this requires is a sh! And you're able to communicate with each other. If you do embark on building a power exchange relationship with your wife, the issues of who has power can evolve.
We started making out and instantly went into for play. In addition to that, you have to know yourself, and be able to be honest with yourself, and be able to honestly reflect on your strengths and weaknesses as seen through the eyes of your partner.
But until the two of you hash out what "discipline" looks like, you are going to have to take things slow and YOU are the one who is going to have to say NO to her if you feel AT ALL uncomfortable. ed Jul 8, Good evening communication is really critical. You figure out what works for you and your wife and you don't let anyone tell you that you are "doing it wrong. Up until now there has been no reason to avoid me. She is giving you the trust, she can take it away.
SHE than tells me that she would like to try using spanking as a corrective measure to things that "SHE" feels she could improve. We scheduled a controlled night where I literally welted her behind and what i felt crossed the line. From time to time we would use spanking as a stimulate, which would get my wife horny. She said that she is okay but I'm still a mess. DayOne got you started with some good sites, and there are many, many others.
Linked sites the owners of the sites are a married couple with trusted, knowledgeable people.
ed May 15, ed Oct 13, The electrical p that come with these things are perfect for adhering to butt cheeks. So far there has been mutual respect with some struggle of submitting. Physical discipline is never a good replacement for communicating about problems, and it wont make the issues go away. It doesn't happen overnight and you never become perfect at it, rather it's an ongoing process that you just commit to. I've really REALLY lucky to have a partner who, when I expressed my needs for physical domination, was willing to explore it with me, was willing to understand how it works for me on an emotional and physical level, and who takes the responsibility and risks very, very seriously.
She was scared of the punishment but we had agreed that there would be a corrective action. Also TakenInHand has a lot of useful articles to read. This made both of us horny, we preceded to have sex several times. Jump to Latest Follow. I say that is rare because there is no play book for this sort of thing. Status Not open for further replies. Plenty of women who want and need to be topped spanked by their husbands also want and need aspects of emotional power exchange.
But understand this about the physical discipline: SHE has the power right now. Let me know if you have any specific questions and I and others here, as D1 pointed out can try and point you in the right direction. Cultivate a relationship in which you each can be transparent with your feelings--even when you know its not what the other person wants to hear. It took much less this time but she felt so much more. That's common, in my experience. After telling her that since we are just starting, I would let it go today, she kept pushing "why" why would you let it slide.
That is, if you come back and participate in your own thread, ask questions, give more info, etc. She, too, should be doing a lot of reading, and you both should share and discuss what you're learning. She pushed until I eventually spanked her for her slip up. Definitely a win!
Play around with the settings and placements and you will eventually find something that gives a very painful sensation. I'd also highly recommend Husdom. ed Jan 6, We have been married for 6 years in a Christian home with 2 children. As long as your actions remain safe and consensual, and as long as you are in constant, honest communication about them, this can be a very satisfying dynamic. And THAT requires the most work and humility of all. But the very best of luck on this new journey.
She is your best resource, and you hers.
That's right: tops and Doms get safe words, too. EleGirl said:. She just come to bed and waited for me. And no, you don't have to pick one or the other.
A wife’s first spanking
It does sound like you're a lucky couple. Log in. Go forth and responsibly flog with joy. Be sure you both understand what other sorts of punishment and domination are OK and which are not. There are a lot of men out there who love and cherish their wives in so-called "vanilla" ways. They tend to call it "making rules" or "making the decisions" or "leading the relationship," but it's communicating boundaries and setting limits, nothing more, nothing less. Relax and have fun!
Most of us are happy to help, but are not interested in participating in another thread that will end up in a flame war. I don't want her to not come to bed or lie to me out of fear. So explore your limits, she will tell you when it's too much. The best part is that the pain is derived from only an electrical stimulation of the nerves and there is never any damage to the respective cells.
No two power exchange relationships are alike. I have wanted her to "willfully" submit more and she has always wanted it too but struggled. She went out with a friend for the night and is expecting correction when she gets home including sex. Cultivate that two-way trust and intimacy. She trusts you, which is why she is able to open up and tell you what she needs.
Otherwise it would not be approved for sale in places like Walgreens and CVS For the price and the potentialit should be worth a try! ed Sep 19, Hopefully they'll drop by to help you out. There are a lot of men and women who are great tops. Be sure you both understand how spanking is to be used.